I did it again. Burned the grilled cheese to a crisp. Oh, don't judge ... I challenge you to do better under similar circumstances. It's really hard to be a good cook when you also have to be the official dog-letter-outer-and-back-in-er, the maid, and the barista for the 5 year old coffee drinker who is coming unglued for a cup of iced coffee. So, in the midst of loading the dishwasher, letting the whining dog out, screwing the top on the sippy cup of iced coffee, and cooking grilled cheese, the sandwich took the brunt of my inability to "multitask."
I haven't always had this cushy, bonbon-eating, soap-watching, uninspired life of a career-deprived stay-at-home mom (did you get all that?). Flashback about a decade. I used to have a "real" job. I was a fancy-schmancy career woman. I was "successful" by modern, "enlightened", liberated-woman standards. I was also completely unfulfilled and miserable ... but that's a story for another day. My point in this case is that it hasn't been all that long ago that I was out there in the working world, putting in my 40+ to earn a paycheck, and struggling just as much with this ridiculous concept of "multitasking." An employee that could simultaneously juggle several tasks at the same time without any major screw-ups or meltdowns, was considered something special. At the time, as I spent many an unpaid hour after work, feverishly striving to get done all those things I was allegedly so good at doing simultaneously, I found myself in much the same sort of dilemma as I face these days in my lowly domestic world of laundry piles, dirty faces, and grilled cheese. When one tries to do too much all at once, the sandwich is going to get burned.
You'd think I'd have wised up to all this nonsense by now, and that I'd avoid it here at home ... allegedly being "my own boss" and all. Well, that too is another crock. I have more "bosses" now than ever, and they all expect me to multitask. Ya know, Moms actually invented multitasking and that's how that beast ended up in the workplace in the first place. Moms have been multitaskers since the beginning of time. Paper jockeys in cubicles cannot even come close to the productivity of the average mom. Even so, we moms know that it isn't possible to bark out orders, wipe noses, sort laundry, let the dog out, and start dinner all at once, without something going awry. I've left the dog out for hours, only to find her sitting on the front stoop, soaking wet. I've dragged my girls out the door only to discover that the 5 year old didn't have shoes on ... after arriving at our destination. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've burned taco shells, or bacon, as I've simultaneously been cooking things, talking on the phone (or to a child or hubby) and emptying the dishwasher. My kids don't even ask anymore why the bacon is black. They know the lecture they're going to get if they drop that question. They do grumble though. Can't blame them for that, few things are as disappointing as bacon burnt to a crisp.
Moms understand that there is a price to be paid with every extra task that is piled on the plate. It is pretty much impossible to be super busy, efficient, and precise all at once. Something has got to give. Do one thing really well, and most of the other stuff will be done so-so. Get it in your head that you're going to do everything perfectly, and you'll be driving yourself crazy and will be all stressed out. Your family will swear that a demon has possessed you. It's a safe bet you won't achieve your objectives. All that multitasking noise is a bunch of baloney, and we're unwise to put ourselves in a position to try to pull it off. Instead, we need to try to prioritize and keep all that juggling to a minimum. It's not easy, especially when kids are involved, and we'll never rid ourselves of it entirely, but we do need to give ourselves some much needed wiggle room. This is especially true when there is a particularly critical or important task on the list, something you mustn't mess up or do in a lackluster fashion. When something like that is on the list, you will be wise to set everything else aside and give that matter the attention to detail it requires.
My husband will tell you that I am an optimist to my own detriment. Probably true. But I have become a realist when it comes to my own ability to juggle a million and one different things. Of course, that realization alone doesn't stop life from just throwing stuff at me and expecting that I'll handle it ... on demand. That realization alone also does not prevent me from often getting in over my head. I'm trying though, and the older I get the more I realize how important it is to get this part of my life under control. I'm trying to give myself a little grace when things don't work out as perfectly as I'd like (very hard objective for us perfectionistic types). When I forget about the scouts graduation and miss it altogether, when I take the girls to the wrong Kung Fu class, or even when I burn the grilled cheese, I can't beat myself up about it. It helps to have a good sense of humor, and a very understanding family!! I also have to be careful about adding too many things to an already very busy daily routine (translation ... I'm trying to curb the habit of being a "yes" woman)... amazingly, the world will keep spinning, and life will go on. There is something, however, ... something I must make a daily priority. There is something I must do well. It is the something that transformed my unfulfilled career-woman life into something extremely fulfilling. Extraordinarily busy ... yes, but just as extraordinarily wonderful, in spite of the challenges. This most important thing ... the thing I need to do right every day ... is to be sure that my dear girls and best friend (my hubby) are healthy, happy, loved beyond measure, and showered with encouragement. I may have to eat a lot of burnt grilled cheese, but I go to bed every night knowing that I am a good wife and mom, even if I fail at some of the other stuff.
I haven't always had this cushy, bonbon-eating, soap-watching, uninspired life of a career-deprived stay-at-home mom (did you get all that?). Flashback about a decade. I used to have a "real" job. I was a fancy-schmancy career woman. I was "successful" by modern, "enlightened", liberated-woman standards. I was also completely unfulfilled and miserable ... but that's a story for another day. My point in this case is that it hasn't been all that long ago that I was out there in the working world, putting in my 40+ to earn a paycheck, and struggling just as much with this ridiculous concept of "multitasking." An employee that could simultaneously juggle several tasks at the same time without any major screw-ups or meltdowns, was considered something special. At the time, as I spent many an unpaid hour after work, feverishly striving to get done all those things I was allegedly so good at doing simultaneously, I found myself in much the same sort of dilemma as I face these days in my lowly domestic world of laundry piles, dirty faces, and grilled cheese. When one tries to do too much all at once, the sandwich is going to get burned.
You'd think I'd have wised up to all this nonsense by now, and that I'd avoid it here at home ... allegedly being "my own boss" and all. Well, that too is another crock. I have more "bosses" now than ever, and they all expect me to multitask. Ya know, Moms actually invented multitasking and that's how that beast ended up in the workplace in the first place. Moms have been multitaskers since the beginning of time. Paper jockeys in cubicles cannot even come close to the productivity of the average mom. Even so, we moms know that it isn't possible to bark out orders, wipe noses, sort laundry, let the dog out, and start dinner all at once, without something going awry. I've left the dog out for hours, only to find her sitting on the front stoop, soaking wet. I've dragged my girls out the door only to discover that the 5 year old didn't have shoes on ... after arriving at our destination. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've burned taco shells, or bacon, as I've simultaneously been cooking things, talking on the phone (or to a child or hubby) and emptying the dishwasher. My kids don't even ask anymore why the bacon is black. They know the lecture they're going to get if they drop that question. They do grumble though. Can't blame them for that, few things are as disappointing as bacon burnt to a crisp.
Moms understand that there is a price to be paid with every extra task that is piled on the plate. It is pretty much impossible to be super busy, efficient, and precise all at once. Something has got to give. Do one thing really well, and most of the other stuff will be done so-so. Get it in your head that you're going to do everything perfectly, and you'll be driving yourself crazy and will be all stressed out. Your family will swear that a demon has possessed you. It's a safe bet you won't achieve your objectives. All that multitasking noise is a bunch of baloney, and we're unwise to put ourselves in a position to try to pull it off. Instead, we need to try to prioritize and keep all that juggling to a minimum. It's not easy, especially when kids are involved, and we'll never rid ourselves of it entirely, but we do need to give ourselves some much needed wiggle room. This is especially true when there is a particularly critical or important task on the list, something you mustn't mess up or do in a lackluster fashion. When something like that is on the list, you will be wise to set everything else aside and give that matter the attention to detail it requires.
My husband will tell you that I am an optimist to my own detriment. Probably true. But I have become a realist when it comes to my own ability to juggle a million and one different things. Of course, that realization alone doesn't stop life from just throwing stuff at me and expecting that I'll handle it ... on demand. That realization alone also does not prevent me from often getting in over my head. I'm trying though, and the older I get the more I realize how important it is to get this part of my life under control. I'm trying to give myself a little grace when things don't work out as perfectly as I'd like (very hard objective for us perfectionistic types). When I forget about the scouts graduation and miss it altogether, when I take the girls to the wrong Kung Fu class, or even when I burn the grilled cheese, I can't beat myself up about it. It helps to have a good sense of humor, and a very understanding family!! I also have to be careful about adding too many things to an already very busy daily routine (translation ... I'm trying to curb the habit of being a "yes" woman)... amazingly, the world will keep spinning, and life will go on. There is something, however, ... something I must make a daily priority. There is something I must do well. It is the something that transformed my unfulfilled career-woman life into something extremely fulfilling. Extraordinarily busy ... yes, but just as extraordinarily wonderful, in spite of the challenges. This most important thing ... the thing I need to do right every day ... is to be sure that my dear girls and best friend (my hubby) are healthy, happy, loved beyond measure, and showered with encouragement. I may have to eat a lot of burnt grilled cheese, but I go to bed every night knowing that I am a good wife and mom, even if I fail at some of the other stuff.
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